Monday, January 23, 2012

Craziness from Hartz

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… I grew up under the oppression of the Capitol in the nation of Panem, District 12 to be exact.  The evil Darth Sidious was in command, but we knew we could fight off his rule if we found the three lost Sankara Stones.  My trusted side-kick, Dobby, a cheeky little house elf, and I set out on an adventure to locate the stones.  We hopped into my Uncle Emmett's car, a sweet looking DeLorean, and ripped out of District 12 at a swift 88 miles-per-hour.  Little did we know that Uncle Emmett L. Brown had turned his car into a time machine.
Dobby and I were blasted light years into the future.  We quickly discovered that Panem no longer existed.  The human race had been eradicated and replaced by talking monkeys.  We tried to leave this horrifying future as quickly as possible, but the DeLorean was completely out of Plutonium.   Luckily, we were able to avoid being captured by the talking apes due to the swift rescue of a band of renegade humans led by a young man named Captain James T. Kirk.  Dobby and I told the good captain our plight and he informed us of the existence of another time machine.
We traveled for a few days to a place called Circle K Convenience Store.  There we met the operators of a time machine that looked an awful lot like a phone booth. The operators were two very jolly fellows named Bill and Ted who seemed to be obsessed with the music of a band called Wyld Stallyns.  Not only did Bill and Ted show Dobby and me how to work the time machine, but they also handed us a gift, three Sankara Stones!  They said they received the stones from an old grey wizard named Gandalf who they encountered while time traveling in the past.  Dobby and I quickly traveled back to Panem.  We couldn't wait to use the magic of the Sankara Stones on Darth Sidious, but we never got the chance.  As soon as we got back, one of the stones broke open to reveal a beautiful blue baby dragon named Saphira.  The time of the Dragon Riders had come!
Okay, obviously none of this is true.  My name is Jennifer Hartz.  I am a Pittsburgh native currently trapped in the South… North Carolina to be exact.  I live with my husband and my wonderful little boy.  I spend my days teaching, reading, writing, and loving Jesus.  When I originally sat down to write my bio for The Writer Limits I planned to explain my love for all things speculative.  However, instead of telling you fine folks, I thought it would be more fun to show you in the form of some insane collaborative story.  This is the kind of wonky stuff my mind will conjure up when I take the red pill Laurence Fishburne gives me. 
I've been a fan of all things speculative for as long as I can remember.  Why would I want to read or watch something I can do or see in real life?  Give me something impossible!  Give me something incredible!  Writing speculative fiction was the natural byproduct for this love of all things weird.  My first books ever written, The Future Savior Series, fall into the fantasy genre.  Book One: Conception and Book Two: Resurrection have been receiving awesome reviews.  Book Three: Evacuation will be released on March 1st from Desert Breeze Publishing.  I've got two more Future Savior books plus I'm currently working on a YA Urban Fantasy that I can't wait to finish up.  I encourage you to check out my links below to find out more about The Future Savior Series, my other story ideas, and a bit more about this crazy author.
Twitter: @JenniferLHartz


  1. I think you could have gotten a FEW more pop-culture sci fi references in there, Jenn. :-)

    That was fun. And what an awesome series!

  2. Thanks Gail! Oh yes, I could have gone on for a long time, but I wanted to keep the blog short! :)

  3. Lol! What a fun post..

    I'm so excited about Future Savior Book 3!!! It's almost time! AHHH!!! Please excuse my overuse of exclamation points, I'm just so excited! Oops, I did it again =D

  4. Jenn, did you see a suspcious looking woman named Selene at the convience store? *wink*

    Sorry, I just got back from watching Underworld 4, Awakening and now I'm all pumped up. Yes, I enjoy speculative fiction as well. Rowling, The Lord of the Rings, Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series, they're all fun, but nothing beats those vamps, lycans, and Selene from the Underworld.

    Congrats on your Future Savior Series.

  5. Crystal - Thanks!!!!! I knew you'd be excited!!!!! Oh no, now I'm using them, too!!!! LOL! I super pumped to hear what you think about Book 3. I hope you like it :)

    Steph - Did you like Underworld 4? I enjoyed the first 3, but I don't know how I feel about this one w/out Michael in it.

  6. Before I get riled up over you using more pop references than me, let me say, you should have taken the blue pill, silly. Loved how you expressed you love for all these great genres. I want to be the first to say, I am your number one fan. I love the Future Savior series and can't wait for book 3! Now, come pick me up in that DeLorean! My Tardis is broke.

  7. Michael presence is in the story and you do see "him" in the beginning. And the ending... well, I don't want to give anything away. *evil chuckle*

  8. Jen, your post is so fun! I love your writing, it grabs a hold and dos not let go until the last page.

  9. Jmo - You're my #1 fan? Maybe my only fan... ***slaps own knew at bad joke*** It means a lot to me that you like Future Savior so much :)

    Steph - I'll certainly give it a try!

    Tami - Thanks Tami!