Monday, April 9, 2012

Heroes of the Horde

Hey people!  I've decided to give you a very rare treat today.  A sneak peek at my current work in progress.  I'm about 2/3 of the way done, but I wanted to share a glimpse with you.  Please remember this is a very rough draft so ignore any major errors!  But I would LOVE to hear your thoughts!  Here's some info on it:

Working title:  Heroes of the Horde

Genre:  YA Urban Fantasy

Blurb:
Six mismatched students at Deacon Proprietary School are about to discover the demonic legend of their school's origin is actually true.   Not only have they obtained amazing powers, but they've also unleashed the demonic Horde.  Now it's up to these six high school freshmen to stop the Horde before its evil spreads throughout the school and beyond.

Scene:  The excerpt I'm about to give you is right when the kids start to realize they've received these amazing powers.  The two kids in this scene are twins. The boys name is Mike and his sister is Shelly. Mike gets the power of levitation (although he doesn't realize it yet) and Shelly... well, you'll see! Enjoy!

Excerpt:

He walked back through the bathroom and opened the door to his sister's room.  Shelly was sitting cross-legged on the floor with several school books spread out in front of her.  Even though she had a perfectly good desk three feet away, Shelly liked to sprawl out on the floor to do her homework.  It was just one of the little quarks his sister had that made him smile.
Mike replayed the dunk in his mind one last time in preparation to tell his sister.  This was something he had been trying to do for quite a while now and he wanted to tell the story just right.  I dunked the ball!  It was amazing!
"You'll never guess what I did today," he said enthusiastically. His grin practically reached from ear to ear.
"You slam dunked the basketball." Her statement was so matter-of-fact it caught Mike a little off guard.
"How did you know that?" he demanded.
"I don't know.  It just sort of popped into my head and I knew that's what you were gonna say."  Shelly looked up from her books.  With a furrowed brow and a frown, her face looked perplexed and Mike had to admit he too felt slightly dumbfounded.
"Huh… that's weird.  But Shells you should have seen it.  It was awesome!  It felt like flying.  Everybody at practice was shocked.  Maybe, after dinner, we could run outside to the hoop and I could show you."
"We've got Trick-or-Treaters tonight," Shelly reminded him.
"Oh yeah," Mike frowned momentarily but then he had a great revelation.  Now that Shelly's home maybe she'll make dinner and I won't have to make the Tuna Helper.  "Hey Shells, now that you're home why don't—"
"I make dinner instead of you," Shelly said cutting him off and finishing his sentence.
"Yeah, I was just gonna make some—"
"Tuna Helper."
"Why are you doing that?" he asked indignantly.
"What?"
"Finishing all of my sentences."
"Why?  Were you really planning on making Tuna Helper?" she asked.  Her voice sounded pretty baffled, which matched the way Mike felt.  How is she finishing my sentences so easily?
"Yeah.  Didn't you see the box sitting on the kitchen counter?"
"No.  I came straight upstairs.  I didn't go through the kitchen." Shelly shifted her position on the floor and Mike felt uneasy. This was odd.
"So how did you know?"  His brow creased with concern.
"I don't know.  I just knew you were thinking 'Tuna Helper'.  Pretty weird huh?" Shelly's voice shifted from baffled to worry.  Mike felt pretty worried too.  It certainly did seem weird, but he always felt the need to protect his sister, even from something as simple was worrying over Tuna Helper so he tried to placate the situation.
"Ah… don't worry about it," Mike said flashing his ever contagious grin.  He didn't want his sister to be upset.  "It's probably just some weird freaky twin thing.  This certainly isn't the first time we finished each other's sentences."
"I guess you're right."  As she moved to put her school work away, Mike watched her hair fall in front of her face.  Why does she hide behind her hair all the time, Mike wondered.
"I don't hide behind my hair all the time." Shelly declared sounding affronted.
"What?" Mike exclaimed shaking his head and taking a measured step back.  How in the world did she know what I'm thinking?
"You just said that I hide behind my hair, but I don't hide behind my hair."
"Shelly, I didn't say that."
"Yes you did!  I heard you as clear as day."
"I promise, I didn't say it out loud.  I thought it, in my head, but I didn't actually say it."  Mike was scared.  This was going beyond weird-freaky- twin-thing and moving into just straight up crazy.  He knew he didn't actually say the words.  He was certain he only thought them.
"Come on Mike!  Stop fooling around!  I heard you say it and now you're messing with me!"  Her voice genuinely sounded scared.  In fact, her voice matched the way Mike was feeling right now.  She got up from her spot on the floor and faced him. Arms folded across her chest and a serious look in her eyes.
"Okay Shells, okay.  Let's calm down."    Once she was sitting he continued, trying to ignore the look of pure hatred she was shooting at him, "I'm telling you, Shells, I thought it in my mind.  I didn't actually say the words."
She narrowed her eyes at him in total disbelief.
"Let's try something," Mike suggested trying to offer her his best smile, but he knew it was a feeble attempt. This whole situation had him genuinely worried.  "I'm gonna think of something totally random and you tell me what it is."
"You're joking, right?"  Her eyes narrowed even more and she chewed on her bottom lip.
"No I'm totally serious."  He cast his gaze around the room for a quick moment.  Ugh, there's nothing random enough in here to work.  Hmm… there's Shelly's old purple Teddy Bear, but that kinda obvious.  What about a purple truck.  Yeah, she'll never guess a purple truck.
"Purple truck," Shelly said in a frightening monotone.
Mike could feel his eyes widen as he stared at his sister.  She was reading his mind.

Remember, I want your thoughts so please feel free to comment!  Also, please feel free to harass me at the following locations:

Website: http://jenniferhartz.com
Twitter:  @JenniferLHartz
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1 comment:

  1. Why didn't I hear about this! Super stellar. You got to love twin powers. I can't wait to see the other kids. It sounds kind of like an X-Men type thing where everyone specializes in a specific power and in the end they band together and take down the bad guy. I love this, great job Jennifer :D

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